Drive from one plan to another: when the agenda of your child controls your free time

"We have opened the door of our home to the monster of the hyperstimulation""We are removing the opportunity for children to generate their own resources"

Drive from one plan to another: when the agenda of your child controls your free time
"We have opened the door of our home to the monster of the hyperstimulation""We are removing the opportunity for children to generate their own resources"

Children who have more plans for the week-end parents, and parogenitores that exercise drivers to their children and the friends of these. It seems the feeling of many families, who dedicate their weekends to take the children from one side to the other, without hardly any space for themselves. Today, points out Sonia Sauret, a psychologist, a neuropsychologist and coach staff, "there is a clear trend towards the stress. Adults are increasingly stressed. And with the desire to make happy the children, we became animators from Monday to Sunday , but with greater intensity, even on weekends".

"To my I have said many times that they were not coming to the psychologist because they had a workout (one of many) and it was a priority to go. Also I know people who have stopped going to weddings because I had a training of a child, or even go to the wedding and come back the next day early to not miss a party.... In my opinion, is a bit exaggerated. Is it okay to have an illusion but not subjecting them to that kind of pressure...", tells Nuria García, to Help you Study Psychology.

Currently, the work-life balance is complicated and the agenda of the children ends up being like adults , sometimes by necessity, but sometimes because the parents themselves complicate life. "We truly believe that to have them occupied in dating various or developing certain skills that are of interest to you will be positive to your future.

The success in life is not reflected by the amount of activities that one does . It is more, sometimes in the "free game" and "not stated" are lived experiences that are neither in the books nor in the values," suggests Garcia.

In reality, selala Sauret, "the happiness of our children is not at odds with the boredom. Why not?

children should get bored and know how to be bored properly. Is the way you get to maintain the illusion for the things, which are independent of the parents, who are recreating in the imagination and not to lose it. In contrast, overstimulation of activities, parents can do it all and are always willing to stimulate their children at any time, accepting invitations without a filter, all of this creates children too closely supervised, and highly dependent on their parents and the continuous stimulation".

Studies of various universities, especially studies of the University of Texas led by professor Heather Lench, revealed the positive side of boredom, discovering that it turns out to be the prelude to creativity and motivation. "Allow our children to be bored and not know what to do, help is espabilen alone, at home, and with what they have at hand. In this way they develop the curiosity that urges them to create new activities and new ways of thinking. Therefore the parents should not have to fear that their children are "unemployed", to decline invitations and to help that are not so demanding ".

The agenda of your child

this is Not about either, added to this psychologist, "to be extremists, but try to find a balance, and above all, to achieve that the agenda of your child is not in the control your free time . A free time on the other hand is rare these days. They also need to have memories of sharing time with your family, to have time to get frustrated and have time for fun just for the mere fact of having fun and not for a specific purpose. There is plenty of space for your child to explore different sports, artistic activities, or even learn a language; but it does not have to be all at once or in the same year."

on the other hand, suggests the expert Help you Study Psychology, "there are times it is important to teach your child to choose . For example, if you want to go to all of the birthday that weekend, or do two sports like go swimming and play soccer. In this latter case, you can do both if you play football in a team that does not have a lot of demand. It is important to make alternatives and that they choose which matters to them most at that time."

The limit to say “no” would be at the time in which the various plans and events, or extracurricular activities have ceased to be enjoyed, and are more an obligation for all. Sometimes by routine, not to defraud the other, or because we think that in regard to the educational part, will make all the difference in your resume. But in the end you have to ask yourself do you spend enough time together as a family? is your child and you are happy?", questions Nuria García.

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Date Of Update: 24 September 2019, 04:01

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