When Dawn began Baccalaureate seven years ago, in a new facility began to be compared with its peers and obsessed with her body , what with the time triggered a great depression. She had always been a girl very cheerful, active, athlete... all Of a sudden their environment, and have wondered why no longer wanted to go out, or talk to anyone .
Each time I was more obsessed and more sad. Little by little he realized that he was submerged in a pit of which I could not get out. It was then when she was diagnosed with anorexia .
could do No more with this situation and decided to take his life . But it was not. Life gave him a new opportunity. Thought to seek help in public health "and was catastrophic". "I wondered if you felt anxiety, and, as he had much, they gave me a medication.
I Remember the pills on my bedside table , and that if I took a certain amount I slept peacefully and, as well, I'm not obsessed about my problem and she was hungry. That became my vicious circle," he confesses.
however, I was distressed to think that his life would always be so, and that I would need to continually take pills to be more relaxed, asleep, so as not to suffer. "There came a moment when I said "I cannot continue" . Almost could not speak a word for the state in which I was in for anorexia. Not wanted to wake me up. Do not want to suffer. I saw that my bedside table had the material to end the suffering and I wanted to use it. "And if I don't wake up tomorrow, I don't care —I thought—. It was not planned. It took weeks to suffer. is My idea came from a moment to another ".
she knew that She was going to destroy his family, not to wake up the next day, " but is that I was destroyed! What do you do: you're selfish or you're still destruyéndote with that pain that people don't understand? I was selfish," she confesses.
luckily woke up. "I woke up fatal. I continued with therapy. The specialists asked me that, after what happened, if I was still in the die. I did not know how to express myself. I explained to them that to me it was the same for all , go out to the street, I atropellaran..."."you Gotta tell now!"
His family and friends knew not that she had tried to take his own life. When he started the University they came back again his obsessions for compare and suffered a big letdown emotionally. Decided to put an end to everything by taking off the life, just when his family saw that she already came out and seemed to have recovered his spirits —but were unaware of all his feeling inside, your ups and downs with emotional...—.
"That's the second time I had a lot of fear. I took a lot of pills but, apparently, they were not enough. I woke up. is On the phone I had a lot of calls my partner, who is a psychologist, and motivated me to talk with my mother and sister. "You gotta tell now!". I was trembling, almost without voice, I confessed to what he had just done and that was not the first time".
When he had told, his mother and sister said that they figured that something was wrong, especially when one had seen as lying in the bed that morning. Then Dawn, visibly irritated, he thought "did you know that you passed me something from a long time ago and have not done anything, not you asked me?" . But what is certain is that she never opened my mouth to tell her slightest sense.
Today, past the time, acknowledges that "my therapy is to tell you that I tried to take my life two times. That frees me. Open up and say how I feel today. As I'm a bit low morale I have to talk about. One has to be opened.
forget about the shame. Forget about what others think. we All have our weaknesses. Has happened to Me many times that, by telling it, the person that had before me has confessed also feelings tremendous. You must remove that barrier of shame and fear. You realize how many people there are like you."
The fact of taking part in assemblies —as organized this week by the Phone against Suicide in the Assembly of Madrid—, and tell you about my experience so openly, a lot of people who knew me approached me and told me "Dawn, I'm sorry" . However, I say that you do not have that feel, and thanks to what I've spent —even though it has been hard and complicated— today I am the person that I am. Should not feel it, they must support the cause to end prejudice and that suicide is no longer a taboo".
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