Invitations to a spa and manicure child for girls, classes, climbing, cooking, cinema, zumba, or horseback riding, a day at a "scape-room" or, even, to sleep a night in a museum, tarts super unique and personalize, and a lot of guests and gifts... The proposals, birthdays are every time extravangantes, and by a higher amount . What we are getting out of hand these celebrations, as is already the case with the First Communions, or graduations school? Families, remember to Nuria García Alonso, a psychologist and director of Assist Psychology, " should try to be realistic with what they can offer to their children . As a father or as a mother you want to arrange the best birthday, perhaps also to compensate for not spend as much time as you'd like with him. However, the time cannot be packaged, and what you have to teach your child can last a lifetime. Now it is easy to please a child to the whims that they have but, what will happen when annos later their whims are activities or objects that you can't afford, like a car, or study at a university outside of Spain?", is question.
hence the importance, cautions Garcia Alonso, that there are certain limits and perhaps frustrations. Because of the frustration and negotiation to achieve the things you also learn. If everything is easy to get, there comes a time in which it is difficult to put an end and the child ends up losing the illusion."
On a birthday, recommended this expert, "it would be important to talk with your child and think or reflect for a moment on who is your friend, or simply a companion, sympathetic, and teach your child that having more guests at a birthday is not a synonym of being more popular or that you want more. It is not the amount or what you spend on a celebration, but the people who support you and are by your side".Gifts galore
With all the gifts is the same, and the children can be put together with several gifts of 50 euros each... Should parents refuse expensive gifts? Do you ask for donations? Do you carry any of the toys received an association of children who need them? What we are getting with this desmadare of celebrations, carried to the maximum level, it points to Nuria García Alonso, is that "many families end up thinking that their children do not value what you do for them, or the gifts or the opportunities that they provide to their children.. but, why should they do it if not it has cost them effort to get it?", questions this psychologist.
in Addition to the excess, repeated gifts at birthdays, warns the psychologist Sonia Sauret, "can cause the child syndrome hiperregalado , which means that the children can develop a number of psychological traits that are not helping them to grow with health, due to the overdose. So, when there is no filter on the amount of toys that are given at birthdays and when the child is conditioned to have everything, you run the risk of developing related behaviors low frustration tolerance, little appreciation for what you get, little illusion, materialism, and excessive consumerism. We are creating wayward children"
in order To resolve this reality that is so common in families today, for her, the solution would be in communication. A communication brief and effective with the children, on the one hand, and on the other hand, with the rest of the family and mothers and fathers of their friends. "The children are able to ask them questions so that they would be illusion, for what and why they want what they want and how that would change his life. In this way, they can steer you to assess beforehand what they want, create expectation and excitement, with the consequent result of creating appreciation for what they give away. And, on the other hand, it would be interesting to talk with the rest of the family and friends. In this conversation, we can make clear the quantity of toys that are accepted, the quality of these in terms of values, and agree with each one of them."
it is essential to, continuing professional Help Psychologists, "not to lose sight of the origin of this celebration, which in the end is no other than to meet up with the people you love and enjoy with them and for that reason, many times you only need the company of which I appreciate, and that's not a gift is expensive".
What happens is that maybe the parents themselves, suggests this expert, "they take the rest of the families when they celebrate a birthday." So what corroborates Pilar Conde, technical director of the clinical Origin, for whom "it is not a question of family or friends, given that both parties are important in the development of the child in its environment, but rather to make the parties adjusted to the budgets of the family, and the environment in which one moves. Are the fathers and mothers in the majority of cases that is required to prepare certain parties, feeling that they should make them, by comparison with others, or demonstrate that they are "good parents"".
there are No good choices or bad, to reject or to donate, you're not going to be better or worse, but rather by able to pass on to your children that a celebration such as a birthday or a First Communion is something more than a party, it is an opportunity to convey values to your children. is The education never rests ".
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