An ex-South Yorkshire police officer describes domestic abuse.

Natalie Shaw woke up in her kitchen, crying with her partner next to her.

An ex-South Yorkshire police officer describes domestic abuse.

Natalie Shaw woke up in her kitchen, crying with her partner next to her. He had hit her only because she loved her so much. The former chief superintendent now uses her own experience to steer the Violence Against Women and Girls Team at South Yorkshire Police. She hopes to share her story and help others get free.

She said, "I thought that he was going out to kill me."

He was crying and just stood there. He said that he did it because he loved me so much.

Natalie was previously pushed and shoved before her partner took it one step further.

She said, "He hit me in my face, making all my teeth loose." "He knocked my face to the ground, then strangled until I was unconscious."

Natalie can now look a domestic abuse victim straight in the eyes when she speaks with them.

She wants other people to understand that abusers can happen to anyone, even police officers.

She said, "I couldn’t tell anyone at my work because it was too embarrassing to be a cop and a victim to domestic abuse."

"I had said that I was not going to be 'that person'. "I'm supposed to protect people like myself."

Natalie stated that it took her "to be beaten and strangled" before she realized that she had to get out.

She said, "I didn't know how."

In the early 1990s, a brief romance began between her and her abuser.

She said that he was a gentleman from the beginning, and showering her with compliments, expensive gifts, and exotic vacations.

He began to reveal his true colors after a year of marriage.

She said, "The problem is that you don't know that you are in a domestic abuse relationship." "You don’t meet someone instantly and they’re immediately awful to you. It's a drip-effect effect."

She stated that he started to control her every aspect of her life, including how she dressed.

She said, "Once I put on a Polo-neck jumper to go work in plain clothes (of the police)".

"I can recall a huge argument that ensued that made me dare to go to work in such a way. Because I didn't want to be argued about, I went to work wearing a T-shirt for men.

Although she was once a confident and bubbly person, her self-confidence had dropped and so did her self-worth.

She says, "You begin to question yourself and believe you are being irrational. You feel trapped and very afraid."

It took her four months for her to leave after the attack in the kitchen.

She said, "I literally left with everything I had on me,"

Soon after ending an abusive relationship, Natalie met Wayne, 59. They have been married 21 years and have 2 grown-up children.

She encourages victims to seek assistance.

She said that if she had spoken to her, they would have assisted me in my escape and I wouldn’t have to spend four months trying to figure this out by myself.

"If my story inspires anyone to either report to us or tell someone else to get the help they need then I'm happy to have told it."

You can contact the BBC Action Line to find out details about organizations that can assist you if you are affected by any of these issues.

Call 999 if you feel in immediate danger. Press 55 if you are unable to speak and need immediate help.

You can also use online webchats or text services.

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