When two people become a family, that is usually a reason to be happy: family, friends, acquaintances and of course the parents are blown away by the sweet offspring. But in addition to all the happiness, the new life situation is also a real challenge for new parents: sleepless nights and lots of new tasks determine the first few months with a baby.
The lack of sleep in particular is a problem for many parents: They feel unbalanced and not productive. Sometimes not getting enough sleep can also lead to depression or anxiety. So it's no wonder that the majority of mothers and fathers are quick to get their baby used to sleeping through the night without anyone coming to the cradle to comfort them. It's called sleep training - and it also means that you let your baby cry. But what effects does this have on the psyche and behavior of the child?
professor dr Susann Kunze, course director for childhood education at the IU International University, has dealt with the topic in detail.
But before we provide clarification, here is a quick question for you:
In a survey conducted as part of a study by the University of Konstanz, around a third of 586 parents from Switzerland and Germany stated that they simply let their baby cry for the purpose of sleep training. But not only in this country, also in Canada and the USA it is common practice. In general, however, one must distinguish between different degrees of sleep training, emphasizes Dr. Kunze.
In the cry-out method, for example, an extinct sleep training program, the child is operantly conditioned. "The child is not calmed down and the parents let it cry," explains the teacher. Over time, it realizes that no one will come to calm it down. Pretty tough move.
With graduated extinction, which is the gradual accustoming to falling asleep on your own, parents don't go quite as hard. They gradually get their offspring used to the new sleeping conditions. This also includes the so-called Ferber method.
The baby is to be taught to soothe themselves at night when they wake up. This should be made easier for the child with bedtime rituals such as a bedtime story or cuddling together. Occasionally, parents can check on their child and soothe them. At some point - according to the theory - the parents no longer have to look after their child and comfort it.
“Children can already sleep in the womb. So you don't have to learn it," says Dr. Kunze. The basic rule is: in the first year of life, it cannot be expected that children will be able to sleep through the night. A sleep development takes about three years. In times when mothers are often quickly forced to return to work after pregnancy, the desire for a toddler who sleeps through the night is of course more pronounced.
The childhood educator also emphasizes these accompanying cultural circumstances: “The ideas about when children can sleep through the night on their own are culturally different. In a cross-cultural study, Heidi Keller found that, particularly in Germany and the USA, children are expected to learn to sleep on their own within the first year of life. In other countries like Mexico, China or Puerto Rico, the children are given more time.” There, it is more likely between the ages of two and five that small children can gradually sleep through the night.
Some attachment researchers, doctors, and studies point to the negative consequences of sleep training. Sleep training is therefore generally not recommended. Since every child is different, the pedagogue recommends consulting a pediatrician, sleep clinic or family midwife in the event of excessive crying or possible sleep disorders.
After all, crying and screaming are the only means of communication for a baby to communicate a need to his parents: "The baby cries because he has a need at the moment, which can range from feeling hungry, a wet diaper, to a need for closeness, security or rest is enough,” explains Kunze. If parents would react to this, the baby will feel that it is being noticed. "This promotes the development of the child's trust in his environment," says Kunze. If, on the other hand, the screaming is ignored, this relationship of trust is disturbed.
"The child experiences fear," Kunze summarizes. They experience a loss of trust in themselves and in others. That can also lead to stress. The consequences can be long-term effects on feelings, behavior and thinking. A 2016 study showed that crying toddlers who were comforted by their parents in some way at night - be it talking, cuddling or hugging - had lower levels of the stress hormone cortisol.
Another study in which the researchers examined the cortisol levels of four to ten-month-old children and their mothers as part of a five-day inpatient sleep training program showed that the cortisol levels rose similarly in mother and child at the beginning of nighttime sleep. However, he already dropped on the third day of the program with the mother. "With the child, however, it remained stable at a high level," explains Kunze.
An interesting effect could be observed in the study: "The infant's behavior had changed, it showed less stress on the outside, so that the mother was subject to the assumption that the sleep program was showing initial successes," says Kunze. But in reality the cortisol level was still high. So the child was still in a stressful situation. The attachment researcher Karl Heinz Brisch and his colleagues would interpret the infant's behavior as resignation. It has given up. In extreme cases, it can even cause trauma.
"The child does not learn to sleep, it is forced to do so," Kunze clarifies. The parents' sleep quality can be improved, at least in the short term, with sleep training. "Reduced parental depressive symptoms and an improved quality of the couple relationship were also recorded in studies," says the educator. In the long run, however, most parents see themselves confronted with their own need to naturally want to be there for their child, to comfort them and to give them security. In any case, most parents would need several attempts at sleep training before the effect lasted in the long term.
Other studies have shown that children's cortisol levels dropped significantly during sleep training in the afternoon. However, this result should be treated with caution, says Kunze: "People with a persistently elevated cortisol level show symptoms of exhaustion, which reduces the cortisol level and can therefore be a possible explanation for the effect determined."
Excessive stress affects the development of the child's brain. It impairs the development of adequate emotion and stress regulation as well as cognitive and socio-emotional development such as depressive moods and anxiety. Physical consequences such as a weakened immune system could also result.
"Previous study results cannot rule out negative consequences of sleep training for children's attachment behavior and the development of their attachment style. From the perspective of attachment theory, there is an increased risk of developing an insecure-avoidant attachment style," says the expert. Children would assume that the other person would not respond adequately to their needs.
"If parents want to be a safe haven for their children and want to support their children in developing self-efficacy and trust in themselves and the environment, they should always react to this," says Kunze. Children would need sensitive and reliable responses to their needs in order to develop a secure attachment with a positive self-concept and image of the other.
Babies would need a loving, nurturing environment at all times in which to experience dependability and security. “Parents can calm the child more quickly through attentive, sensitive behaviors. This promotes the release of oxytocin in the child,” explains the teacher. The so-called cuddle hormone strengthens trust and promotes social bonds - in short: it makes us feel good.
Parents can pick up their child to comfort them. Breastfeeding the child in the evening can also help. This stimulates the release of oxytocin and the sleep hormone melatonin, which signals tiredness to the body.
Common bedtime rituals would give the child additional security. "Warm light with a red component supports the process, while blue, cold light prevents melatonin release," advises Kunze. In the first year of life, when a baby wakes up every 50 to 70 minutes on average, it is also helpful if the child also sleeps in the parents' bedroom. So you can react faster and the child feels safer.
This photo series gives even more insights into the world of parenthood:
