The terror at Yoshi and Donkey Kong’s pantslessness in "Mario Golf"

I am an adult who makes responsible adult decisions. So, I was up all night playing Mario Golf Super Rush. I won't give you a lengthy review, other than to say that it's really great. Instead of getting lost in the "Ridgerock Lake", something began to bother me. It became an obsession after I finally let it go. Yoshi and Donkey Kong don't wear pants.

The terror at Yoshi and Donkey Kong’s pantslessness in "Mario Golf"

Although I knew about the pantsless nature of these two characters before playing, I never fully understood the gravity of the situation. These are two adults who decided to wear no pants to a friendly tournament of golf. They were also aware that Bowser Jr. was participating in the event. They knew their friend's child was going to be playing golf with them, and chose not to wear pants.

Donkey Kong is a good example of this. He is impulsive and doesn't care about anything other than buying and hoarding bananas. He just falls asleep in his tie and then wakes up to get back to life. Yoshi is, however, extremely, deeply problematic. Yoshi, on the other hand, is deeply problematic. He wears shoes all the time and has an inborn awareness of basic clothing concepts. However, he chooses not to wear pants. This is sociopathy in a golfing environment, especially with dinosaur lizard kids or Bowser Jr.

I will be returning to Mario Golf Super Rush, but I wanted to let you know that I don't like the concept, design and execution of these pants-free golfers. Thank you so much for attending my Ted Talk.

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