July is Disability Pride Month, which celebrates and recognises what it means to be disabled. Melissa Johns, an actor, shares the moment she regained control of her body after her worst fears were realized and intimate photos were taken.
The former Coronation Street actress said that growing up, she hated her body.
Melissa was born with her right arm below her elbow. Melissa did all she could to conceal it.
"I would go to dates early so that I could plan which side of the table I would be on. I would also choreograph sex.
"I was literally a master manipulator, and it was extremely draining."
Melissa is best known for her roles on BBC One drama, Life and ITV's Granchester. But it was watching a homevideo from the 1990s that was what helped her accept her body.
"My grandfather bought me my first video camera in 1990, the year that I was born. As we were looking at childhood footage, I saw this little girl dancing on the screen.
"I can remember watching her and thinking, I'm not giving your life the you deserve. It was a huge turning point.
Melissa was just beginning to accept her disability. Melissa started dancing at parties instead of sitting in a spot where she would be noticed. This is when her "worst fear", came to light.
Melissa was just finishing her time as Imogen Pascoe on Coronation Street in 2018, when she looked at her phone. She received 21 missed calls by her agent.
She thought it might be about her next job. "Maybe it was Spielberg calling?" She was so excited, she called her agent.
Melissa says, "That's when her telling me." "The worst thing that could happen to me was for my iCloud account to be hacked, and for my intimate, explicit photographs to be published online.
"And that is exactly what happened."
Melissa talks about her experience with having her photos stolen in the Access All podcast.
Emma Tracey and Nikki Fox also discuss their high-street habits and how it is difficult to shop if there are no shops nearby.
A newspaper was contacted by Melissa's nude images online. They were quickly spread across pornographic websites, including sites that fetishize disability.
"It felt as if my life was ending."
She was worried about her job and the work she did with young disabled people. The body she was trying to accept was also being scrutinised by the outside world.
She says, "Suddenly I had no choice but to accept my body being made public property."
Melissa turned to the internet for more information. She noticed that Jennifer Lawrence was also in her photos, and she quickly snapped a photo of herself. Melissa joked on Access All that she thought for a fraction of second, "wow! I made it!" before realizing that "realisation crashed down".
She then saw the comments.
She says, "I'd never seen anything similar to it." "My body was ripped apart by a disabled woman.
"It wouldn’t have gotten as much traction, it doesn't seem to me, if it wasn't for this blonde-haired actress with only one arm."
She said that there is often an unfounded curiosity about sex and disability, which fuelled the corners of the internet.
Melissa says that the situation is complex and more complicated than people realize. Melissa had made the photos in good faith, knowing that they would be kept private. She doesn't want anyone to stop her from taking photos because of the actions of others.
Send a photo to someone you love. Do what makes your heart happy. I sent photos of a body I actually felt good about in that moment. I am not to blame.
"Don't get mad if your privacy is violated. But what we don’t need on top is shame for ourselves."
Melissa did get angry. She got creative. Later she discovered humor.
She was always good at telling stories, and "clowning about", and slowly she realized that there was a story to be told. This could help her to reclaim her body and the violation. She says, "It must come from a position of empowerment."
Melissa was selected for Bafta Elevate just before the pandemic. This scheme supports people from underrepresented backgrounds in their career.
She began to share her theatre experience with experts.
Phoebe Waller Bridge described an early script as "exhilaratingly real" in her description. It was later adapted into the one-woman show Snatched which just completed its first UK tour.
The show explores her life, insecurities, and darkest moments. However, it's hilarious and is accompanied by 90s hits.
It helped her to accept her body and all that she had been through.
She says, "Doing one woman shows is the best therapy." "I can talk about this so confidently in the sense it doesn't bother me anymore."
Melissa, who won Bafta’s The Special Award for TripleC's support of deaf, disabled, and neurodivergent artists in the arts and media, has had an uplifting year.
Laurence Clarke, a comedian with cerebral palsy, is joined by Cherrylee Houston (another Coronation Street alumna who played Izzy Armstrong and is able-bodied).
It is not only a way for disabled artists to enter the industry but it also helps the industry learn about disability and inclusion.
Melissa believes that this lack of understanding about disability is the root cause for some of the trolling she encountered when her photos were published. Instead of expressing hatred towards the people calling her names, Melissa tries to understand their ignorance and empathise.
"If I don’t have it, I will scream. I’ll be upset. I’ll be mad.
She says, "If we fought with anger every day, we'd be exhausted."
Melissa currently plays Miss Scott in Granchester. Granchester is a British detective drama that was set in the 1950s. Its seventh season is set to air in America, where it has been a huge success.
This means that Melissa will be loved by even more people.
She believes that facing her "worst fear", has helped her to accept herself and taught her how she can face unexpected situations.
"Most of life you cannot change what happens to your body. However, we have some control over how we react to it.
"Sometimes, that's all we have ownership over."
Listen to the podcast or find support and information on the Access All page.
