From the Schmoll corner: Only five years and the eco toilet is here!

Berlin is poor but sexy.

From the Schmoll corner: Only five years and the eco toilet is here!

Berlin is poor but sexy. In order for it to stay that way, politics must come from a single source. The Greens in particular show how this works. They cheer when a public toilet is finished faster than the airport. Now only drug dealers have to deal with the label.

And bang, private plane Merz was already transferred. Franzi from the Giffey family, intelligent as she is as a former doctorate holder, exposed him. "What Friedrich Merz and the Berlin CDU have been doing for weeks is populist and transparent," said the world's top candidate for the world's top SPD party. "First use the terrible events on New Year's Eve for your own election campaign, then people in Berlin want to pigeonhole them by their first names and now, of all places, stage an election campaign date in Neukölln."

bang! That has sat. Just hold an election campaign event in Neukölln and talk about the integration of young people who attack the police - not like that, private plane Merz. That is populist and transparent. Quite in contrast to a "youth summit" that decides nothing but things that are never implemented. It has nothing to do with populism. Populists are always the bad guys. Never the good guys. Especially not those who promise a centrist coalition, then make a city into a "failed federal state" with the Greens and Left Party, only to promise another centrist coalition a year and a half later before a repeat election. Mendacity is part of politics - we've gotten used to it.

bang! bang! This is Berlin! "Bääm, there's the thing: that's also local politics, for over 5 years a toilet on

ONLY! FIVE! YEARS! bang! bam! This is Berlin! The most intact failed state of all time. The construction time for the toilet at the Kottbusser Tor underground station is significantly shorter than the 14 years for the major airport and (hopefully) will not cost six billion euros. Poor but sexy. That's Berlin. This is politics in one fell swoop. You can glorify yourself as a politician, praise yourself for the awesome pace in youthful language and forget a few commas in your excitement.

By the way, the Bääm shithouse consists of three cubicles labeled "missoir", "urinal" and "toilet". Hopefully everyone can interpret that correctly, including the homeless people from Eastern Europe and the drug dealers, not that they suddenly poop in the cell labeled "urinal" because they think the "toilet" is reserved for the "miscellaneous". In Berlin, from 2019 to the end of 2022, 137 people were registered as "diverse" in the population register. That is 0.0037 percent of the approximately 3.7 million officially living in Berlin, including not a single newborn. It's worth all the effort.

bang! bam! Politics for minorities is very important in Berlin. Let's take the pedestrians, as pedestrians have to be called in a politically correct way, so that little girls can get the message across that they too can stand on their own two feet when they grow up. From now on they are alone on Friedrichstrasse. Because traffic senator Bettina Jarasch, also a green party, has "finally" declared it a promenade. Walking between concrete and on asphalt - a wonderful idea. I'm already looking forward to spring, when I stroll down Friedrichstrasse and then go to the eco shithouse three kilometers further on Kotti - the view makes the failed federal state worth living in again.

The decision to finally turn Friedrichstraße into a promenade was made shortly before the election. Ms. Jarasch is the world's top candidate for her party and competes with Ms. Giffey and the CDU, which has an affinity for first names. Nevertheless, this is not populism either, but serious, stringent and sensible politics in the interest of all mankind. bang! bam! Berlin-Mitte saves the world. On the asphalt again - Bääm! - Set up benches. There we wait for the end of the world with a shit-expensive coffee from Starbucks.

And the "Fachverband Fußverkehr Deutschland" is already on the spot and awards Berlin a "special prize" for the Senate's "Parklet" program: "Wooden areas with benches and greenery on previous parking lots, which beautify the environment, invite people to stay and thus also that Encourage walking in the neighborhood." Beauty doesn't just come from within. Incidentally, the award ceremony took place as part of the association's project "Let it go - alliance for attractive pedestrian traffic", which is funded by the Federal Ministry for the Environment. There, too, a being-in-the-green has the say. That's what I call solidarity between pedestrians and pedestrians, who give each other awards to certify that they're marching on the right side.

Drivers are by no means a minority. You don't have to do politics for them. You have to tease them because they are angry and drive to work every day instead of flying to Thailand on vacation and dreaming of a fairer world over a cocktail with organic ingredients. Parking fees in Berlin are rising just as quickly as the anger about them. What do you actually pay motor vehicle tax for? And now you can park bikes, motorbikes and pedelecs in all car parks in the capital - free of charge. bam! bang! This is Berlin. "A solid step towards more area justice," explained a cycling lobbyist. Very good. Affected the world breaks the bicycle chains of area injustice!

The income from higher parking fees goes into road construction, preferably in detours. And of course in the usual Berlin quality. Let's take a look at Berliner Allee in Weißensee, where traffic had to be diverted due to sewer and pipe work. "As of December 2, 2022, the responsible police section named a total of 21 incidents in which vehicles drove into the track bed," said an employee of Ms. Jarasch to the state parliament. bam! It's really like in the comics. Too stupid to find the way. No, those stupid drivers. That would not have happened to them on a bicycle - especially not on Friedrichstrasse. bang! bam! That's Berlin.