A trip for science. Sounds good at first, as a journalist you are inherently curious and open to many things. But while others are trying out whether a wrinkle serum actually works or what a woman with extensions could look like, Anuschka Roshani embarked on a really adventurous journey: when she found out that LSD was also being tested for effectiveness as a remedy for depression, anxiety and addiction, she embarked them on "the trip". She writes down exactly what she experiences. She gets an idea of how the former hippie drug works - namely quite liberating - but she also experiences phases of unrest. In the end, however, there is the "euphoric serenity" that her trips have brought her. Would she do it again? And does she recommend this experience to others? You can find out in an interview with Anuschka Roshani and ntv.de.
ntv.de: Do it or don't?
Anuschka Roshani: It depends (laughs). Personally, I wouldn't recommend it to anyone who is healthy, certainly not in the wild - that is, unsupervised. However, if you have a previous mental illness, then you should at least think about it, along with talk therapy. You have to know that this experience will have a great emotional impact.
What should you pay attention to?
That the setting is right. You need to feel comfortable and build trust. The range includes everything and goes from "dreamy idyll" to "horror". I just had a lot of trust in the hospital in Basel, where I went for this experience.
Weren't you afraid of a "bad trip" at all?
I had respect for the whole thing, but like I said, I had gained confidence and knew that if I got scared, there would be a counter injection as well. At no point did I panic.
Besides the journalistic experience - what did you expect?
I had no expectation. Not that I would gain a great deal of self-knowledge, nor did I, as a healthy person, have any expectation of salvation. Incidentally, after this experience I have no desire to repeat it, my need is totally covered, but in a good way.
Aren't you afraid you might find this type of trip too good?
I get what you mean, but I'm not into drugs at all, I don't even like alcohol (laughs). I don't feel like taking LDS just for myself, and I tend not to recommend it. In the context of therapy: yes, just like that: no.
What about other mind-altering drugs?
In some psychological circles, it is still fashionable to consume LSD or mushrooms in order to gain deeper insights into oneself and one's life. I hope LSD and psilocybin will become more accessible in the medical context soon.
In addition to depression and other anxiety disorders, where do you see other possible uses?
Clearly in aging research. I believe that concomitant LSD dosing may alleviate the fear of death in the terminally ill.
For example before or during Alzheimer's?
I think so. It's a nightmare for me to lose my mind. Man is more than just his thoughts, but I find it terrible not being able to articulate them. I think it's a relief to be able to free yourself from that.
What happened to you when you took LSD?
I actually went into the whole thing with no expectations, but I have to say that a few knots in my head have unraveled, almost like the push of a button. I was excited beforehand, nervous. It's about your own consciousness, which you can never really get to otherwise. I've always thought of myself as a head person and now I've found out what's still inside of me.
Has the experience changed you?
I know more about myself now, yes, and I know all the things I can feel, but I didn't become religious or mystical about it (laughs). However, for the first time I really felt one with the world and the universe, which was very nice. Sounds a bit esoteric, but I haven't become a completely different person, just maybe a little more relaxed. There's something both fantastic and spooky about neurobiology to me, but I feel the same way about the effects of painkillers and anesthetics on the brain.
Do you have a "before and after" feeling?
Yes, but it didn't make me a life coach for other people. I am clearly a child of turbo-capitalism, everything always had to go faster, higher, further, the clock was always on my neck. Now I have gained a different, new lightness. That is very nice. I found out for myself that I'm not only here to achieve something, but also to enjoy, marvel and be happy.
Some kind of crash course in mindfulness?
Well, you learn to be in the moment, to see the world through the eyes of a child again, to experience moments of self-forgetfulness. Also not taking yourself too seriously, but on the other hand I listen to myself better today. I want to continue to function, but I can still make it more comfortable for myself. Do you remember the last time you forgot everything around you?
Definitely not enough moments to remember. Any more descriptions of the feelings you experienced on the trips, please.
It might sound a bit silly, but every thought is a feeling and every feeling is a thought. There was something disorienting about it, but in a good way, I was completely free of parameters, floating through my unconscious without judgment. Fortunately, I wasn't afraid of after-effects, in the sense of psychosis or schizophrenia.
Now that sounds very tempting...
Yes, when you no longer hold on to your thoughts and feelings but let them go, that is something very liberating. Also for control freaks (laughs). But even without this experience, you can regain your curiosity and take on other perspectives. LSD, however, leaves you no choice: once you've taken it, you have to go with the flow, you can't defend yourself, you're watching yourself while you're thinking and from a distance at the same time.
LSD has been out of the picture for a while and is enjoying something of a renaissance...
Yes, that's from the Nixon days, when his "War On Drugs" wiped out all psychedelics research, even though the study results were so promising. I very much hope that research into these substances will continue and that they will no longer be demonized in public. Because if sick people can now justifiably hope that their pain will be alleviated, their psychological needs, then it is absolutely necessary to be able to continue researching this "drug".
Sabine Oelmann spoke to Anuschka Roshani
