Are Indian movies bad for us? no Are there even wokes vegetables? no But instead a lot of other nonsense, about which our columnist once again made nonsensical thoughts. It is absurd for anyone to read this. But read for yourself.
Help, I screamed to myself the other day, so loud that my lungs hurt. The end of the West is approaching, completely irrevocably, it rattled through my head. So now there is already wokeness in German kitchens. I was sitting with my friends Moritz and Volker in an establishment called "Restaurantkneipe" and prepared to study the menu in order to make an excellent choice. I stumbled across a dish called "Woke Vegetables".
Good God, I thought, how far does this insanity go? And what are wokes vegetables anyway? A dish without potatoes, you know, the cultural appropriation brought to Europe by Spanish colonists from South America, or rice, also a cultural-landscape appropriation, this time from China. But fortunately I, a hypersensitive, very do-gooder, quickly noticed that I had read one E too many and that it was "wok vegetables".
According to Wikipedia, a wok is "a tall, continuously curved pan that is one of the most important cooking utensils in Chinese and South and Southeast Asian cuisine". You see, as bad as it is, Wikipedia also spreads clichés. When you read that, you see him right in front of you, the man with Chinese facial features, sizzling "wok-fried vegetables with dog meat," shaking his bowl without thinking about CO2 emissions, and wondering whether it'll be tomorrow Shark fin or bat from Wuhan market, fuck Corona. That's how they are, the Chinese. Or not?
And we Germans? We are no better. We turn the wok into a piece of sports equipment that we use to slide down ice channels. That's what I call cultural appropriation of the worst kind, which is why I use my great Audi sled, of course, especially now that the 9-euro ticket is being abolished, which hits hard on us wealthy people in need. The Berlin transport company lost more than 100 million euros. We have it (yet).
Incidentally, I chose spaghetti with courgettes and other types of vegetables, although this is also debatable from the point of view of political correctness, because courgettes are also a cultural landscape appropriation from Central America and eating spaghetti is the thing of the Italians. i love pasta But who knows, maybe I'll live to see that one day only Italians will be allowed to eat pasta because anything else would be cultural appropriation. Or Chinese. In 2005, archaeologists in China discovered a 4,000-year-old pot of noodles. Victory for the People's Republic!
Are white archaeologists actually allowed to dig in China or Indian country, or is that cultural encroachment and – in the worst case, if something is found – also appropriation? Well, you can leave what you find there or give it back, then all is right with the world. I want everyone to be happy. Sometimes, though, I wonder if my self-perception of being a very good person isn't just a disguise, at best, self-deception so that no one realizes what a very bad person I am. I thought Winnetou was great, I admired him. I liked that he and Old Shatterhand were fraternizing, sistering, or diversifying—I don't know if the two apparently gentlemen accepted their sex assigned at birth, or went around the house in drag, or felt gender-neutral.
Of course, I also liked Winnetou's eastern zone competitor with the far more complicated name "Chingachgook the Great Serpent," a Mohican raised by the Delaware. The DEFA Indian films were shot by the "Red Circle" artistic working group. The East Zone was known to be full of Red Circles, Redskins and Red Guards. And woke without end. In the DEFA Indian films, the oppressed and affected always won, that was the Indians. They really got even with the young and old white men for having come as colonialists.
As a child, I kept my fingers crossed for the Indians to defeat the nasty whites. I've always been a justice fanatic. The movies were full of clichés about good and bad. That made it easier for me to understand her. Nevertheless, I did not become a Nazi. Not even racist. That was because of my parents, who taught me to respect other people and to say hello to them in the hallway, no matter what they looked like. I believe education is more important than moral guardianship by childless anti-racists on Twitter.
No, Winnetou is not on the ARD Index. Of course, the first didn't buy the license for the films again because of "the clichés", but because they need the money for director bonuses and for courses on how to write scripts for politically correct Indian films: "Blutsdiverser, let's smoke the peace pipe . We accept that you want to shed your birth-assigned gender, just like Chingachgook the great serpent once shed his snakeskin. And now make friends with Bonusfather, the great wimp, as we once called your stepfather."
Please pay attention to the clichés! French people are no longer allowed to eat baguettes, Italians are no longer allowed to eat spaghetti and Spaniards are no longer allowed to call out "Olé" so that it doesn't get stored in our children's heads. The Netflix film adaptation of Jane Austen's "Persuasion" ("Persuasion") showed how progress is made in the art of film, which turned the classic, which originally takes place in a class society full of prejudices, into a haven of diversity and feminism. That's close to the falsification of history - but politically great. Art is not for reflection, it is there to educate people to be good.
That worked for me. As a child, I loved playing cowboys, never Indians, because I had a wonderful Colt that my mother bought me in Poland, if I remember correctly, for so-called Western money. It was a hit, it looked so real I could have robbed a bank with it. Logically, I was a defector, allied myself with the redskins against evil, fought alongside the Indians in the interests of good - and always won. I believe that I can claim to be a very good person - and have been since I was a child.
